Thursday, October 17, 2019
This is a hard one. And I think the reason why it's so hard is that we have had 1. very happy memories and 2. powerful lessons that we've learned. We all have memories that can bring a smile to our faces instantly! And yes, we've all been through a lot that has taught us very valuable things about life.
Just like one of my favorite quotes says:
I think the danger lies very discreetly in the way we think about our pasts. I believe there is a tendency to compare our present moments to our pasts, especially as we get older. The stories we tell ourselves of "I remember when..." or "I looked so good when I was (this age)" can actually cause harm to our present-day outlook.
Constantly comparing our current situations to how we were or how things are now can steal our current happiness and peace. There's nothing wrong with remembering the good 'ol days. But whether or not we choose to admit it, we can become the stories we tell ourselves, either good or bad. So we have to be very careful! More on this in a future post*
Another reason why it's so hard to let go of the past is PAIN. Yes, it is a four-letter word. We have all been hurt by other people, by experiences, and even ourselves. We can tell ourselves the same stories in our heads over and over again. "This happened to me. It hurt like hell. I can't believe they would treat me that way." I used to do this all the time.
But finally, I had to say ENOUGH.
That broken record of everything that's happened to you is an album that needs to get retired and thrown in the trash! Those stories only make you a victim. Not a hero or heroine. That is the past dragging you back to where it wants you to be. Misery loves company and that includes the past!
If you truly want to be happy in the here and now, it's time to let go.
How do you do it? I know how! Let me tell you how to!
I'm going to say this loud and clear: The only way to let things go is through FORGIVENESS.
Think I'm joking? I'm really, really not. I have had to tattoo that word onto my brain. Permanently scar it into my psyche. Etch it into my conscience!
It's the only way, my friends. You have to forgive that person. That thing. And yourself. Over and over, and over, and over again. These are the tips 1, 2, & 3!
Does that person deserve forgiveness? Maybe not. But that doesn't matter. Do you really think by forgiving someone it gives them the power? It doesn't. Forgiving someone means "I'm taking back my power. I will no longer let you have any control of my thoughts, feelings and actions any longer. I forgive you. You are in my past. I'm letting it go."
This is so important. Nothing others do is because of you. It's because of them. Don't get caught up in their drama, their pain, their behavior. It has nothing to do with you.
Now, this is no way means that you have to let that person back into your life, especially if they are abusive. You do not deserve abuse and there is no way you should allow it in your life. By simply forgiving someone, you are taking back your power by no longer even giving them, or the situation, another thought or moment of your precious, short life.
There's the famous quote or some variation of it: “In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” - Anne Lamott
Not forgiving someone is only going to continue to hurt you.
Secondly, can you forgive an experience? This is a little trickier. Unfair things happen. Life goes wrong, sometimes it seems like for no apparent reason. Maybe you have chronic pain, like me. Maybe you even have cancer. Maybe you just got smashed into by a car this morning. Sometimes things don't make sense.
I've learned that you have to forgive your experiences just like you would forgive another person. One way to do this is to acknowledge that we shouldn't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of us and the tragedies that befall us are not punishment for our behavior either. This knowledge comes from Don Miguel Ruiz and "The Four Agreements" something I highly recommend.
For a long time, I thought that I had done something wrong to deserve chronic pain. Now I can't believe I ever thought that. Did a baby born with brain cancer do something wrong? Did a man walking across the street that got hit with a car, do something wrong? No... and neither did I.
Forgive every bad thing that has ever happened to you. If you have to, write it down. There is something magical that happens when you do this. All of a sudden your past will start losing its grip, its power. You can take back your story. You are not what has happened to you. You are so much more powerful than that.
Now thirdly, there are times when we DO have to forgive ourselves. We have all made mistakes. Said things we shouldn't of. We have hurt other people. It doesn't mean that we did this on purpose. Most of the times we didn't. That's why forgiveness is so important. Just like most of the time, other people didn't hurt you on purpose either. It was just a by-product of their actions and perspective.
When we don't forgive ourselves, we can't let go of the past.
Guilt is an extremely dangerous emotion. It can lead to alcoholism, overeating, and even suicide among many other harmful things. The lessons that we learn throughout our lives are very important, yes! But does that mean we are supposed to rake ourselves over the coals again and again for it? Are we supposed to torture ourselves with the would've, should've, could've for the rest of our lives? No.
The past is gone. Let's learn the lessons but then, move on!
Maybe you think you've done something unforgivable and that's a very unfortunate way to think. What has helped me so much is picturing Jesus Christ, on the cross, in unbelievable pain, and still finding the strength to say, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." This is so true. Everyone and everything can be forgiven, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and in your heart of hearts, strive to do better next time.
To live in light, we must forgive others, our experiences and ourselves. It's the only way we will find true peace and happiness in the present moment. And the present moment is all we have.
Thank you so much for reading & make sure to subscribe at: https://www.joannmears.com/jo-knows-better for notifications on the latest posts! Have a wonderful day!
Monday, September 30, 2019
My process of figuring out my diet has been a slow one and at times painful. It was an evolution that was prompted by one health issue after another. In 2016 I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. In 2018 I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis and around that same time I found out I was allergic to so many things I used to eat every day. If you're interested, make sure to read my "Are You Allergic?" post on insight to discover what you're allergic to here: https://joknowsbetter.blogspot.com/2019/09/3-are-you-allergic-living-in-light.html
So let's just say I was forced to make some big changes. At first, it was really hard to give up what I loved so much. And don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. My diet is so strict now that most would be amazed at the small list of things I actually can eat.
Now obviously I'm not recommending that you need to be as strict as me, because chances are you don't need to. I can't even eat TOMATOES! Can you believe it, tomatoes! But there are some tried and true things that I have learned. Things most people could try and see amazing benefits.
1. Cut Out the Sugar - And no not necessarily sugars from fruit! I'm talking about that powdery white stuff that's just as addicting as cocaine.
When I was first diagnosed with pre-diabetes, I started looking at sugar in a whole new light. I could not believe how many grams of sugar were in one Chai Latte Frapp. And here I thought I was drinking something healthy while I ran my errands. I might as well have had a Snickers bar!
Yes, there is so much sugar now in things these days. And it's so sneaky and hidden! I know it can be a pain in the butt, but you got to start reading those labels. If something has more than 5 grams, I don't even touch it. And now the ironic thing is... I actually found out I'm allergic to sugarcane so this allergy did me a huge favor.
What are the benefits? Less pain, less inflammation, weight loss! And yes, you can even reverse your Type 2 diabetes/pre-diabetes, something I did in less than 4 weeks! There are so many health issues that can arise from eating sugar. Don't wait until it's too late.
2. Eat Less Processed Foods - Does it come in a box? Does it seem to have a thousand ingredients? Did you receive it through a drive-thru window?
The things is, they can sneak in so many things into processed foods. The sugar, the preservatives, the chemicals. Also, when things are processed, it actually breaks down the nutrition that was in those ingredients in the first place. If the list of ingredients takes up the entire side of the box, just put it back on the shelf.
So! I'm not even gonna give a lecture on fast food. I know that you know. You already know, you do! It's common sense. It's that little voice inside yourself (sometimes really deep inside) that says, "Uh uh... don't do it. You know it's not good for you." And that's all I've got to say about that!
And that brings us to how foods should really be... (queue dramatic crescendo music)...
3. Eat More Whole Foods - You guessed it! Fruits and vegetables! To eat foods exactly the way God intended for us to eat! What a thought...
And yes, if you can, eat organic. I know it's more expensive but it is so worth it. I'm spoiled because I live in Southern California, but it was possible to find in the South, some natural grocery stores that weren't that much higher than non-organic.
Eat what's in season. Look for sales. How about putting back that bag of chips so you can buy the organic apples? How about 3 less over-priced coffees a week to get those potatoes?
Listen, you have to want to do this. If you want to be healthier and live longer, you know deep down what it is you should be doing. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you what to do. You already know.
So let's answer the question: Are You What You Eat? Are you unhealthy, "processed" and unwhole? If so, try the 3 things above. I can say from experience, it really does work and will improve every part of your life. Yes, every single part.
And if we are what we eat, let's be whole, organic, clean and healthier than we ever thought we could be!
Stay up to date on Part 2 by subscribing at https://www.JoAnnMears.com/Jo-Knows-Better for new post notifications! Thanks so much for reading and have a wonderful day!
Monday, September 23, 2019
She recommends writing down every little thing that "Steals Your Peace". Whether it's a person, place or thing, it's all very important. When we can clearly identify our triggers we can nip them in the bud.
Sometimes we can be completely unaware of these things. Sometimes we think we're just having a bad day, going through the motions, absorbing whatever is thrown at us. But when you have awareness, you can identify all those little things that can equal a very bad mood.
Maybe you woke up late because you forgot to set your alarm. Maybe you couldn't find your keys. Maybe you got a disheartening text from a friend. These little things can set us off, especially when sometimes it seems like they just snowball.
The truth is there are a ton of things that can steal our peace. For me, one thing for sure, is usually watching the news, something I don't do anymore. It puts me in a mental state of anger, frustration or depression. For you, it could be something else. A friend that always seems to bring you down. A place that brings up painful memories. Even that creaky floorboard that gives an annoying screech!
The trick is to write down everything in your daily life so you can improve these situations. Try setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier. Organize your things the night before. Changing the channel when something begins to irritate you! It doesn't matter if it seems small. If it steals your peace at all, it's affecting you, therefore it is important!
Unfortunately, certain people can be more than irritating. You don't get to pick your family, but you do get to pick your friends. Be careful who you choose to spend time with. There will be a later post that delves deeper into this subject. But if you have a friend that constantly steals your peace, it might be time to start examining this relationship. What are they adding to your life? And moreover, what are you adding to theirs? Remember, misery loves company!
A major part of being aware is being resensitized. You can read the post "Are You Desensitized?" here: https://joknowsbetter.blogspot.com/2019/09/2-are-you-desensitized-living-in-light.html We can be dealing with something for so long that it just seems "normal" to us now. We've gotten used to being angry, depressed, bitter, or even numb about something that we accept it as "it is what it is". But the fact is, happiness is really a choice. Don't settle with a whatever attitude. This isn't whatever, this is your life! You have choices, you make decisions, you have control of your destiny!
1. Write down one thing that steals your peace. I'm sure you can think of just one. The beauty of this is that most of us have a phone or a tablet nearby, it's easy! Write it down!
2. Make a little list of ideas to make it better. All it takes is a little common sense.
3. Try one. You'll never know if it works until you try it. If at first, you don't succeed, try, try, again.
If you're so inclined, leave a comment below of what steals your peace and brainstorm an idea that could make it better. You never know if someone else has the same peace stealer. To have constant peace, live in light, we need to identify what steals it from us. This can take time, but I know for sure that it works!
Don't forget to subscribe at https://www.joannmears.com/jo-knows-better for the latest posts notifications! Thanks so much for reading & have a wonderful day!
Monday, September 16, 2019
I didn't know how important it was to find out what I was allergic to until now. If you're constantly feeding your body things that aren't good for it, you won't live with optimal health!
When my mom had been vacationing in Newport Beach, she had met a doctor that highly recommended naturopathy. Basically, that means doctors who practice holistic healing. So my mom went to one and they had highly recommended a blood allergy test to find out what foods she was allergic to.
She took the test and boy was she stunned! And so was I!
Her list was so long that I had to get tested myself. I thought that if my own mother was soooo allergic than I must be to, and I was right.
I found out I was allergic to wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, sugarcane, even blueberries, and green beans! So many foods that I have loved all my life and that were consistently a part of my everyday diet.
I had no idea I was eating all these things that were bad for me. So I went hardcore and cut everything out! I will admit it was hard, especially at first. But thank God I live in California where there is no shortage of Vegan groceries and a huge variety of healthy alternative options.
The payoff though has been really life-changing! I have never felt this good, at least not since my early youth. I had gotten so used to feeling bloated, with stomach cramps after meals, that a part of me had accepted that the way I was feeling was normal. Well, it's not.
If you're having consistent stomach problems you got to dig deeper to fix the problems. A huge percentage of all our cells lie in our gut and that's why it's so important to get it working right! Even if you don't "feel" any discomfort, I would get tested to make sure you're being as healthy as possible.
There is so much going on inside our bodies that we can't see. Eating things you're allergic to causes inflammation and studies are showing just how harmful inflammation can be. If you have chronic pain like me or any health conditions, inflammation will only make it worse. It can also cause health conditions, problems, and issues that you might not have yet. Don't wait any longer...
I highly recommend getting a Blood Food Allergy and Sensitivity Test. Don't do the skin one, it's pointless to show what really is going to affect you. Unfortunately, this test isn't usually covered by insurance, but it really should be. However, it wasn't that expensive to pay out of pocket for and it was so, so worth it!
To fully Live in Light, one needs to cut out all that's bad for you in every area of your life. Unfortunately this can include some yummy foods, but in the end, it will make you feel so much better. I have truly never felt better in my adulthood and I know you will too!
Disclaimer: I am not and medical doctor and this is not medical advice.
Please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE at https://www.joannmears.com/jo-knows-better for notifications on the newest posts for the Living in Light Series! Thanks so much for reading & have a wonderful day!
Monday, September 9, 2019
Are you desensitized? I know I was. And it's not that I would watch just anything on t.v. I did have some standards of what I would expose myself to. But the majority of what I was watching wasn't good. This was a gradual process. It didn't just happen overnight. I was experiencing a slow descent and the worse thing was, I didn't even realize it was happening.
I think these days with so much technology, constantly bombarding us with so much content, it's easy to get lost in the fray. We may watch something just because it's the "top show", "top movie" or watch something simply because it's on! But are we really watching things that help us improve as human beings and add positive things to our lives?
There is so much darkness and negativity in the entertainment industry. It seems like almost every show keeps on raising the bar on how much we are exposed to. More violence, graphicness, sexual explicitness, human deceptions, harmful behavior, are at an all-time high and it doesn't show signs of slowing down anytime soon.
The thing with being constantly exposed to darkness, negativity and the horrors of this world, is that we can start accepting these energies as our own. Our thought processes and emotional being can turn towards the negative as our hearts and minds become desensitized.
I think it's important that we investigate our thoughts and feelings as we're watching something. Pay attention to what your thoughts are as your watching t.v. Ask yourself questions like, "As I'm watching this, are my thoughts mostly negative or positive?"
If your thoughts are leading towards judgment, anger, aggression, a pure fight or flight mentality, chances are you're watching something not good for you. If you start feeling depressed, anxious, nervous, or scared, start realizing that the darkness and negativity of these energies are becoming your own.
Being desensitized to things is extremely harmful on every level. When we become numb and hard-hearted, we can start to ignore the beautiful things about our lives just as we become accustomed to ignoring the bad things. It's as if we become blind in every area of our lives.
The most important thing is to have awareness. The slow descent into becoming desensitized is a step by step process that requires our choices. When I say this, I mean for the majority of us, obviously some people are exposed to things without their choice, which is a horrific injustice. But most of us do have a choice. Only when we start acknowledging our negative thoughts and feelings, can we start making positive changes. This is how we resensitize ourselves.
The beauty of resensitizing ourselves is that we start to feel things on a deeper level, the way we are supposed to. We can experience love, joy, and gratitude so fully because our hearts and minds are open to positivity. When we live more tenderhearted, we can care for other people with compassion and empathy, including ourselves. We need to take better care of ourselves in every way.
Your thoughts and feelings determine your reality.
I can truly say I've never been happier because I resensitized myself. I realized I needed to make some drastic changes because no matter what I seemed to do, I wasn't really happy. My heart and mind had become so numb that I couldn't really feel anything anymore on a deeper level. I had too much of a "whatever" attitude and that was hurting me much more than it was helping me.
I hope this will inspire you to make some positive changes in your life. Again, pay attention to what you pay attention to. Drama only increases drama. Cut out the darkness and negative energies and just wait for positivity to flow into you! You won't be sorry.
Please remember to subscribe at https://www.joannmears.com/jo-knows-better for notifications on the newest posts! Thanks so much for reading and have a wonderful day!
"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind." - 1 Peter 3:8
Friday, September 6, 2019
I started to realize that maybe the reason my mind would never stop fighting with itself, was because I was constantly feeding it conflict, annoyances, injustices, just negative stuff, all the time. That's when I learned that what you focus on becomes your life.
I thought I was a positive person before I made these changes. And maybe I was more than most people, but that still didn't mean I was truly happy and radiating positivity. Some people from the outside that know me would have never have guessed that. I always tried to put on a happy face no matter what. But the war in my mind would never let me have peace.
I knew it was time to make some drastic changes. I was going to examine every facet of my life. Especially what I watched, read and listened to.
If you're constantly focusing on the negative, your mind will only become more negative.
Also, I had realized how desensitized I had become. Things that used to really bother me on t.v. and movies started not to bother me anymore. My heart was getting harder and I felt numb to the horrors of this world. After following these steps, my heart has started to resensitize and now I feel things more deeply and with greater satisfaction, especially the good feelings like joy, love, and happiness. There will be more to explore on this subject at a later post.
1. Stop Watching the News - Okay, okay, I know some will fight me on this. I'm not saying to become completely oblivious and unaware of what's going on. But who can honestly say that 98% of what the news talks about will have some direct effect on you? My point is the news is so negative. Its focus is conflict and injustice. When was the last time you heard something positive on the news? We know that it is few and far between. The news counts on our attention to the negative to make money. That's how they stay in business. And unfortunately, the news has become so divisive, that it's constantly pinning us against each other. It thrives on conflict.
Try cutting out the news for just one week and see how you feel. I don't watch the news anymore, unless I know it may have some direct effect on me, like weather. But that's about it. I've never felt more at peace with the world. I've realized that other people's battles are not my own. Especially because so much of it is out of my control. When you learn to let go of what you cannot control, you feel weightlessness like never before. Side note: This includes getting your news on social media. More on this later.
2. Cut Out Violence and Graphic T.V. and Movies - Is it just me or have t.v. and movies gotten more violent and graphic than ever? Every top t.v. show or movie seems to be raising the bar on how much they show us. And here's the thing, you can't unsee things. If you're watching violence and horrific graphic depictions of the lowest of the low of human behavior, how do you think these will affect you? Whether you realize it or not, this does have an effect on your emotional, mental, and also your physical state as well. And the thing is, I didn't realize this. I was so desensitized to things, I could watch just about anything and eat at the same time. Something that I would've considered unfathomable just 10 years ago. It's only now that I have resensitized myself that I've realized how horrible the entertainment industry has sunk.
Try cutting out everything above a PG-rating for a week and see how you feel. I have completely and have never felt better. I will admit that this has cut down on what there is to watch, but this is a good thing! Less time sitting in front of the t.v. absorbing negativity. I feel less negative, anxious, depressed, worn down, deflated, angry, torn and just less helpless about all human existence.
3. Cut Out Social Media - Oooh, a hard one for most of us. We've become so reliant on it for entertainment, news, hot topic debates, and even good things like connecting with friends and family. But here's the thing, studies have shown that social media increases anxiety and depression, and with teenage suicides at an all-time high, this is no coincidence. A lot on social media can be very negative. It seems like the top stories amongst "friends" are always concerning political debates, racism, gun control, etc. And although it can feel noble to want to fix the injustices of this world, most discussions on these topics only lead to fighting, more divisiveness, and emotional separation between friends and family members. No wonder it's causing more anxiety and depression. We joined social media to connect, but it has created distance between us like no other. This is the power of negativity. This is why you need to cut it out of your life.
Try cutting out social media for just one week and see how you feel. I usually only use social media now for my career and very seldom use it for personal reasons. I am also super selective about who I am "friends" with and who I choose to follow. Another positive that I have garnered from this change is that I don't feel like I have to take on the weight of everyone else's problems. When people used to complain about things publically, my first emotional response was to either want to help them or want to push them away because their problems seemed so painful. I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about what you're friends are going through, but they can become overwhelming, especially if you have a lot of friends. If you do have a close personal friend that's going through a hard time, why not try sending them a personal text or even a phone call? This is a much better way to connect on a personal emotional and mental level.
What you watch, read and listen to does affect you. Pay attention to everything you pay attention to. Have an awareness of negativity. Cut out the darkness wherever you can. I urge you to try the things above as they have brought me a kind of peace I have never known before.
Thursday, September 5, 2019
How about making some changes before you get cancer?
I've been through a lot over the past ten years dealing with chronic pain. 24 surgeries and procedures. More chronic diagnoses. Doctors telling me I will never get better.
Through being cut down at my knees, time and time again, I have finally found some answers that have helped me in every single area of my life. I want to share these answers with you in the hope that you can get helped too.
If you want more peace, less pain, and more happiness, I urge you to follow this series. You can try whatever you want to see what works for you. And if it doesn't work for you, then it simply may not be meant for you. But is it not worth a try? You have nothing to lose.
It has taken me more than 10 years to discover some truly life-changing answers. Most came through with just having common sense. Some took a lot of research. Some were divinely inspired. I can honestly say I have never had more peace and happiness than I do now. Especially even though my health hasn't drastically changed, I have changed and now my health is going to have to catch up with me!
I invite you to embark on a journey where some simple changes can make huge results. Please follow this blog or visit https://www.joannmears.com/jo-knows-better to start living in light!