Saturday, December 11, 2010

Bringing the Music Forth

Well, I'm about a week away from finishing the recordings for my first album, Sweet Mysteries of Life. What a daunting and exciting experience. I'm oh so curious to see how it will be perceived.

Of course for me, this is just something I do for fun. I, in no way, am expecting to be the next best thing. Playing the piano and singing are things I like to do everyday, to get the inspirations flowing. It's incredible how it takes off the barriers of self-consciousness. All that armor can just fall down. So you're able to create freely, without becoming consumed with the world's perception of what you're putting out there.

First album means there is more to come, for sure. The songs just keep coming out of me, I got to put them somewhere. It's strange, I never thought I would have a hunger for something like this... ever. Being "musical" has been a part of me, but I never imagined that I'd want to create it.

It will be very interesting to see how it goes. The album is coming soon.

Keep your eyes and ears open...

"Where words fail, music speaks."

-Hans Christian Andersen

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Clean Mean Tips!

1. Always start from top to bottom. Start with ceiling fans and chandeliers first, so that any dust that falls will be cleaned up after you dust, vacuum or mop. Then curtains or anything on the walls. Then to make everything quicker, do all the glass at once. Then dust all the furniture next. It saves time not having to switch between cleaners or paper towels/rags.

2. Clean circularly. Start in one corner of the room, then work clockwise or counter, so that you'll never have to return to that part of the room to clean a certain thing again. It always cuts down on all the walking back and forth. Which can be an energy killer anyways.

3. Always start with laundry first. Ok, maybe this should be number one... but, once you get the laundry in the washer and start cleaning you'll be doing two things at once. I'd also say to do the dishes next, to put them in the dishwasher, so you could do three things at once... but if you live in a 80 year old house like me, it may explode!

4. Make your own cleaners. They can be so expensive these days. And with something like cleaning, which, yes, it's great to have a clean house, but it will just get dirty again! Save money. Google great cleaning formulas. It's amazing what ammonia and lemon juice can do!

5. Your vacuum can be your bestfriend. Sometimes instead of sweeping all the wood floors, I simply use the vacuum hose to get rid of all the dust bunnies, especially the ones that like to hide. I've noticed that the vacuum gets everything so much cleaner than the broom can. And it takes a lot less energy.

6. Remove clothes from the dryer right away. It will decrease the amount of wrinkles, so subsequently will mean less ironing... and we can all do less of that. Also, wrinkle releaser can be great for use on big items such as comforters and table cloths. As well as for everything else.

7. Setting a consistent cleaning schedule can help decrease cleaning times over time. If you clean on a certain day every week, you will notice your work load will become much less every time. Also, you can make a yearly schedule to do a hardcore cleaning. I like to do one in the spring, and one right before the holidays. Where you do things that you wouldn't just do on any given Saturday, like steam cleaning the carpets, organizing drawers and closets, cleaning all windows inside and out, etc. Every week will be more like maintenance, instead of ridiculous excessive cleaning every time.

8. Make sure you're in tip top shape before you start. Make sure you eat a big breakfast for lots of energy that day. Also, never lift with your back. Never strain yourself in any way. If you're sore the next day, chances are you won't really want to do it again. Let's face it, cleaning isn't the most fun thing in the world.

9. Daily maintenance is key. Always throw away your trash, put dishes away, put clothes in the hamper. Every night before you go to bed, try to make sure everything is in its right place. This avoids putting everything away when you start cleaning.

10. Try to make it as fun as possible. Listen to your favorite music. Put your favorite music videos on in the background. Sing along! Try anything to make it more enjoyable. This will help make it seem not like such a burden. Life is much more fun when it's clean! Trust me!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Having FAITH

A concept on my mind as of late. I know that we've fallen on hard times. And at times, it can seem endless, without a closure in sight. I know it took a lot of guts to move out here to the South. A giant leap of Faith. Husband and I survived that. I know we can endure a lot more of this struggle too. I still have Faith.

Whether we recognize it or not, we count on Faith on a daily basis. We have Faith that we're doing what's best for us, what's our purpose is, our drive, our will to keep going. (or so I hope we all do). The definition of Faith is the firm belief in something for which there is no proof. And there is no proof of the future. None of whether we're on the right paths or where they will lead us. None of whether we are doing what we're meant to. None of what our exact purpose on this Earth is. And yet, we keep going. Keep working, creating, living. This is Faith in it's finest form. There is no proof, but we have Faith that keeps us keeping on...

When most people think of Faith, there mind usually goes to the Higher Power. Now, I'm not one to judge any one's beliefs as just I hope no one would judge mine. But, I believe there is something amazing within us, around us... wherever this force is, that makes us so incredibly fearless everyday to keep trying, keep working, keep loving. This force is inexplicable. Sometimes our "better judgement" or our logical reasoning can even go against continuing, but the fires within us remain lit and burning. We can pick ourselves up and brush ourselves off... start all over again.

Our Faith can be like armor, protecting us wherever we go, whoever we meet, whatever situations we find ourselves in. When we go places, we go with a purpose, something we're looking to accomplish. We don't whether we'll be able to conquer this goal, but we go and try anyway. When we go to school, we don't know for sure whether it will makes us more successful in this world, but we go anyway. We don't know that our careers will bring us what we're yearning for, but we keep trying at them regardless. We don't know if our relationships will last forever, and yet we still working at them like they most possibly could.

I know I'm going to get through this tough time in my Life. I know that someday, I am going to be without pain. I know that everything will work out the way it was meant to. I know, deep down... that I am walking this path in the face of everything that could go against me.

This is Faith. It is fearless. It is bold. It is incredible.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Giving Thanks

With Turkey Day approaching, I think it is important for us to remember what this day actually means. And no, not the part where hundreds of my own ancestors were slaughtered... (that's a whole other blog together.) But sometimes we get so wrapped up in the holiday madness that we forget what their purpose is. Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks. I like to give thanks for just about everything in everyone in my life. Too many times do I see others taking people and things for granted and I promised myself long ago that I never would.

It's amazing how far a thank you can go. It can make one feel worthy. It can make one feel important. It can make one feel seen. Never underestimate the power of words. Telling someone thank you could change a lot of things for a lot of people. Maybe one could tell one's mother, thank you for raising and taking care of me. Or tell dad, thank you for teaching me honesty and hard work. Thank you, Husband, for putting up with me. :) Others guards can be lowered, and finally you are living the relationship the way you were meant to live it.

I also like to thank the things that do not exist in the physical form, necessarily. Thank you pain, for teaching me what it is to be without you. Thank you heartbreak, for allowing me to let go. Thank you happiness for always being there, to where I could always choose you if I wanted to. Giving thanks for these things can give us clarity, humility and above all the graciousness that we are human, and alive to feel everything. Something to be very thankful for.

This Thursday, take the time to tell the people and things in your life "thank you". You'll never know when they can be taken away from you and you may never get the chance to show them your gratitude. You can possibly change your life as well. With this honored saying, you can tighten your bond with everything in your life. Heal the wounds between you. Build that bridge once again. Let down our egos and be humble. Be grateful. Be the person you've always wanted to be. What harm could those two words cause? None!

"Benjamin, we're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?"

-Mrs. Maple, from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Whatever It Takes

I have decided -- whatever it takes...

Whatever it takes, to be happy. To be healthy. To be without pain. To be without fear.

To be complete. To be successful. To be without regret. To be without suffering.

Happiness is a choice, and one has to actually choose happiness in order to be happy. I know this from lots of experience.

One can also choose to be miserable, but hey, how would misery ever be actually better for you than happiness?

Cut out the things that make you unhappy. Quickly! Right now!! It may hurt for a moment, like ripping off a band-aid and exposing your wound. But hey, how will your wounds ever heal if you keep wrapping them up or making them worse than they already are. Without seeing your emotional, spiritual, physical wounds healed, how can you feel completely happy about yourself in every single way right now?

Choose happiness, in everything you do, see and feel -- and you will become happy.

Healthiness is the same thing. Choosing the right foods, exercises, habits, rituals and thought processes will make you healthy. We all know what unhealthy foods can do to your body, and why would you choose to damage the only vessel you have been given for this one lifetime? If you have always had issues with choosing the right foods, ask yourself why. Is it because of an emotional wound? A mental wound? Even a spiritual one?? If so, heal those wounds as soon as possible so you can live a life of complete healthiness.

Do you hate working out? Why? We all have strength, endurance and intuition already in us. We ARE, much stronger than we truly think we are. This is not a LIE. We can ALL put our mind over our matter in a healthy way that will only increase our endurance and physical fortitude over time. Cut out the bad habits and rituals and temptations. Do it!! And you will feel better! I promise you!

To be complete one must find fulfillment in everything that one does. And I mean everything. Whether it is your career or relationships... or even your rest and play. If you consciously think about everything you do all of the time, you can only choose to improve every aspect of your Life, all of the time.

Forget about your excuses, your placates, your rationalizations -- these things do not help you, they can only hurt you! And keep you down, in the dark, and incomplete.

Ask yourself the question one of my best friends, "Strength", asked my the other night... "What is best for Jo?"

And all of a sudden my mind just clicked! You are so right, Strength. How could I have been so blind? I've spent all this time thinking about what was best for him, or for her. For the older one, for the younger one... without thinking what is best for me!

So ask yourself, "What is best for YOU??"

I can cut out my pain. I can cut out my fear. I can choose healthiness, I can choose happiness for myself! Me, myself and I! And I will feel complete once again! And honestly, so can you.

Love yourself... and this is where it all begins.

"To Live in Love is to be Alive."

-Don Miguel Ruiz

Sunday, November 7, 2010

My Laws Are All of Attraction

Magnetism is the force where objects are attracted or repelled to one another.

What attracts us to certain things or people, more than others? Are we attracted to things based on our perspective and opinions, i.e. what we consider to be beautiful? And if so, what is beautiful? If beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, then the definition of beauty changes from one person to the next. But is beauty the driving force? Or is it something deeper? Way below the surface of an individual and attracts us to one another? Or is it simply Fate? Are we attracted to a certain person or thing because we were meant to?

We know what we like, by now, I would think of what we're attracted to. A certain pair of eyes, a body, a mind, a heart. I'm not saying that attraction can't wildly vary i.e. he always loved girls with dark hair and eyes, but ends up marrying a blond... (in simplest terms). But... when something or someone is presented to us, we can usually just go to a snap judgement, or opinion... beautiful, or not. Attractive, or not. We know what we like, just by looking at it. It is instinctual maybe, or maybe it comes from the gut more than from the mind.

Beauty is a tricky thing. We can find a beautiful person, then as we peel back the exterior, and you can find that the interior ain't so pretty. And the attraction can be severed, regardless of how outer beautiful the person is. The varying of beauty is a phenomenon too. A guy can say, this tall red is beautiful and also say, that short brunette is beautiful too. Someone else looking on these two women could, say... "yeah, I agree with the first, but not the latter." Everyone is different. Everyone has different tastes.

Or is it something much deeper than that? Are we made a certain way to be attracted to a certain person? Or are we taught what is beautiful by our parents, teachers, even our friends...what is accepted to be beautiful in society, and so we want to be attracted to a certain type of person to be accepted in society.

I always wondered if we were all just glowing balls of light. Everyone the same. Same size. Same color. Same everything. What would we look for in each other to decide whether we were attracted to them or not? Their age? Their knowledge? Their beliefs?

Or would we just be automatically drawn together like a pair of magnets? Where the force is so undeniably strong, we couldn't resist. That it's not so much of how similar we are, just that we feel deep down such a strong force that pulls us in, and we are too weak to repel it.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."

-Noah, from The Notebook

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Tick Tock Click Clock's Full Speed Ahead

Is it just me, or is time moving all too quickly, swiftly, full-throttle forward?!

I can't believe my birthday is just next week! I can't believe I've lived here for over a year! And I can't believe how long my hair is! Okay... maybe I can believe those things, but maybe I don't really want to. Hmm...

I think it's time to start creating lists -- goals, dreams, to do's.

Or maybe it's time to start making deals with the above to slow it down a bit, like those ever work. Ha!

Ok, I know... I'm only turning 27. And yes, that is still very young. But if you know me, well that is, you know that I'm a very driven, passionate person who is amazed that I'm actually not a Pulitzer Prize winning, New York Times Bestselling Author, and a Academy Award Winner yet. Sounds silly I know. But it's my life's zeal... and time -- whether moving in slow-motion or at light years speed, isn't going to change the ultimate pinnacle of what I want to accomplish.

Things take time, but time can take away things too.

The last year of living here has been absolutely amazing. I'm actually convinced that I have had so much fun in the past year, that that's why the days have just flown by! My friends! My family! The people!! Heaven on Earth, folks. And they say that in Heaven, a heartbeat is a whole human lifetime. So go figure...

And as for my hair, well... how important it is to all of you, ha! But it's the longest it's been since I was a little girl. No surprise either. My life works in circles, always has. I come from somewhere, I go back... and so forth.

An ongoing spherical path... just like a clock.

I like to think of it like wise sages, shamans maybe even... long cascading hair, long robes free flowing without restrictions. Their faces dominated by peace. Their eyes consumed in wisdom. They wander free through golden fields, massive mountain tops and by gentle babbling brooks... almost as if time stands still for them.

That's what I'm going for. Not so much to always be running after time, but letting time chase me a little too.

"A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we'll all be together forever."

-Chris, What Dreams May Come .

Monday, October 4, 2010

I've Got My Love to Keep Me Hot

How much do we actually nurture ourselves? How much do we do things because of others? Do we love other people more than we love ourselves? Do we know why?

When I truly sit and think about it, I can honestly say that I'm pretty much split down the middle. Left side, for you. Right side, for me. Cappuccino, me. Cappuccino, made for you. Piano, for me. Sing songs, for you. Clean house, me. Clean house, for all of you. But there is an occasional bubble bath, (which I really did wish I could fit into in this house. I think people were smaller in the 1930's. And I'm a little person.)

But any ways...

I think it can become harmful when all that we do is because of others. What about us? What about yourself? Yes, what about YOU?! Unless you're of the idea that we should be self-sacrificial to the point of exhaustion. Loss of inner needs, desires, passions. A servant to the masses. "JUMP!" "How HIGH?!!"

I think it's a yearning for acceptance, above all. When we were little we were taught to please our parents. Then our teachers. Then our bosses. Then our spouses. All the while, we can forget about ourselves.

What do I want to do? What do I want to be? Who do I really want to please?? Nothing. Everything. A select few.

I know I feel better when I keep the fire within me burning. My inner light switch stuck on -- ON. My self drive, full throttle. They keep me feeling alive. I've got my own love to keep me hot.

So when they say "JUMP!" I can simply ask, "Why?"

Monday, September 27, 2010

Kind, Sweet, Just, Moist Hollywood

This is an actual follow-up to my first blog ever. So it's sort-of a Part II of Hollywood -- if you will.

A gonna be feature film screenwriter. That's me.

I am officialy signed with a manager now and couldn't be more thrilled. It's completely surreal and sometimes I actually have to pinch myself. And now my phone meetings are not stereo-typical Hollywood conversations anymore. They're thought provoking. Enlightening. Empowering.

So now it's "Sounds wonderful!" "How original!" or "What?! You're only 26?!!" And of course I quickly answer, "Thanks!" "Thank you so much!" and "Yes I AM!"

When I look back at the painful rejections that I experienced, it only makes me happier to know I went through it. Lived it. Experienced it. And now I'm done with one of the hardest tasks ever, to get a manager. Especially since I'm not a sold screenwriter yet. And really, I hadn't gotten that many rejections, and nor for a very long time either. So I was lucky. I am grateful. Sooooooo grateful. Bow. Bow.

And so now it's like, "Really, thank you so much for giving me the time of day from your hectic, crazed schedule to talk to me. Yes, I will write a novel first to establish a fan base. You got it. You really think I could be the next J.K. Rowling? WOW!"

And the point still is, I can't stress this enough, it's all worth it. To be your dreams come true. Sitting on the highest cloud amidst the world of chaos below. Feeling the true meaning of success rattle through your core. Seek and you shall find. Find that person that believes in you as much as you believe in yourself. And I have found him. He believes in me, my work, my career. They do exist.

Please don't believe anyone who tells you different. If you have a dream, just go after it with all that you have. Believe in it more than anything and you'll find people will follow you and believe in it too.

They were out there. I found them. Now... I really feel it.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Laughter & Tears

Isn't it amazing how our bodies actually react to the way we feel? The emotions we experience? The events we witness?

I find it incredible that when we think something is funny, we burst out vocally in such a tone only described as laughter. And how it can be such a normal part of our every day. That something can be so hilarious that we uncontrollably break free and let loose this cackle, chuckle or boasting laughter. And how strange laughter can seem if you really think about it... and how it can be so undeniably good for us.

And on the other end of the spectrum, tears. That our bodies drip with salty tears when we feel sadness, are divinely moved or when we view something unbearable without tears. That we need such release that the only way to have it is to just let it flow. It can take tension away. Reveal something to us that we couldn't see before. Like when someone leaves our lives and we cry, and those tears let us know how much that person means to us.

How special we should feel to have laughter and tears in our lives. It's what makes us human, what separates us from just earthly creatures themselves.

I know I am grateful for both. I wouldn't be me without them.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Life After Death

Today marks one year since my diaphragmatic hernia repair. One year since they cut me open on a metal table. One year since I saw my Life flash before my eyes.

They had found the hernia accidentally on a x-ray after I had blown out my upper back. It was the size of a large orange. The doctors didn't know how I got it. Some said I may have had it since birth. Diaphragmatic hernias usually kill babies before they reach six months old. The doc told me mine had the potential to wrap around my heart and kill me within six hours. "When would you like to schedule your surgery?" " soon as possible?"

Surgery is the worst. The days leading up to it. The needles. Putting you under. Cutting you up. And then all that pain afterwards. Then, recovery. Learning how to walk, talk and breathe again.

My Life in some weird way had seemed pretty complete before going into surgery. I felt like I was on good terms with everyone I cared for. I had been working really hard on my latest script. I had gotten pretty much everything I've ever wanted. But as I thought these breaths could have been my last, I still knew I had so much more to do. And I think that's why I'm still alive today. All for a reason.

The surgery changed me. Not just on the outside, especially now since my scar has begun to fade it's almost like it never happened. But the memory and the lesson remain --

Take nothing for granted. Live each day like it's your last. Remember what's important and what isn't. Put all of yourself into all that you do. Just keep living. Do it fully.

You never know what tomorrow will bring....

Friday, July 30, 2010

The Beginning of the End

It's funny how when it gets to the end, I always think about the beginning.

That first step. That first breath. Those first words. That first choice. That first decision.

Sometimes when we move forward with a new venture, we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. This could be a road to failure. Success. Heartaches. Headaches. Stomach ulcers.

Along the journey, one can be naive. Take things for granted. Overlook the details. Ignore past mistakes. Just push through towards a destination. Where we can end up on the complete opposite side of where we originally wanted to be.

What keeps pushing us forward? Our life force? Our stubborn wills? Our faith? Our beliefs in what we're doing is right for us? Our desire for something? Our yearning for change? Maybe all of the above.

Our wants can grow with such persistence that they can even form into the words we speak every single day. Projecting our plan. Divulging our secrets. Telling our agenda to the world. How little we think of how those words could affect other people. Change their feelings. Change their plans. Change their desires. And how their words can change us.

Then comes the choice. Left or right. Up or down. Black or white. Laid out before us on a silver platter. Waiting for an answer. Staring at us until we make up our minds.

Finally, the decision. The ultimate engraved stone carving on our paths. It could be years later before we can know if we have made the right choice. It could be seconds. Then we always have the power to switch ourselves once again. Different circumstances. Different choices. Different decisions.

Will this one lead us to our self salvation? Or will we just have to start from another beginning again? More lessons to be learned. More roads to develop before us.

It's funny how when it gets to the end, I always think about the beginning.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Letting Go

Something I've never been good at. Do you get better with practice? But what does it say about someone who can easily let go at will? Perhaps they were never that attached.

How can you let go of something that's the weight of a mountain on your mind? A box of chains around your heart? A steel casket around your soul? Or those ever elusive claws in your back?

Not without strength. Persistance. Overwhelming will power.

I strive to become that person that can let the constrictions of attachment fall all around me. To just keep moving forward. Nothing to drag me to the ground. Nothing to slow me down.

Banish the negative thoughts that pull me. Dismay the heartbreaks that have wounded me. Break through the past and people who have tried to darken my spirit. Kill the creature with those sharp digging talons once and for all.

And just keep moving forward...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Injections on Rejection

We all must love that burning stake through our souls. We should all adore the piercing agony of needles through our hearts. We know we all want a heavy hammer fallen on our heads. Right? No. Not at all. No one likes rejection.

Not with our careers. Our relationships. Our lives.

I know that we all love a warm glowing sensation throughout our core. A consoling hug of success in our thump-thump. A mind at peace, knowing we did everything we could to get everything we wanted. Somehow rejection doesn't fit into these categories. But it's a part of Life we must learn to live with.

May our rejections be harmless. May our rejections be small. May our acceptances be great and may ourselves, still stand tall!!

"Bala: Z's dead. You don't have to worry about him.
Colonel Cutter: Dead? Well... he was an ant with ideas. Too bad for him."

-from Antz.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


A career. A job. A lifestyle. Money. No money. Success. Fulfillment.

If you are lucky enough to do what you want in this Life, kudos to you.

If you don't know yet or are still trying to figure that out, kudos to you too.

I've known that I wanted to be a screenwriter since I was 15. That was 11 years ago. Do I feel lucky to know that? Sure! Could I change my mind in the future? Nothing is impossible!

A lot of my friends are still in school. Still searching for that ideal, dream job. Some are considering going back to school, to change directions once again. I've discovered it takes a lot of strength and courage to change your mind about something. Especially about something BIG. It's incredible what the human mind is capable of. To want a job. Work so hard to get it. And then work it dry until something new comes along. It's sometimes taxing. Sometimes okay. Sometimes enjoyable.

One could say our jobs define us. One could say our jobs are just a little part of us. Some could say our jobs are what drives us. Most would say our jobs are a necessity, of course... The Art of Survival. Personally, I enjoy defining my job, redefining and fine tuning it, again and again. I feel so lucky to have a job that I love so much with so much freedom. What a rarity it is. I know this. I am forever grateful.

A career of being a great mom who raises amazing kids. Success. A job that makes you feel important. Success. A lifestyle you've always dreamed of. Success. Money. No money. Success. I pray that all can find fulfillment. With work, play, love and Life.

"You are not an indentured servant! It's not a whim for you, you prove it to him by your conviction and your passion! You show that to him, and if he still doesn't believe you - well, by then, you'll be out of school and can do anything you want."

- John Keating in Dead Poets Society.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Never Thought...

Ever use the sentence: I never thought... blah, blah, blah..?

Seems like we use it a lot in this household.

I never thought I'd be back here. Especially, if you had asked me a couple years ago. I would've told you that I'd be sitting on a sandy beach right now. But alas, I'm amidst glowing grass as far as the eyes can see. Sometimes the idea of "never thought" can seem negative. However, it isn't always. I do absolutely love it here.

I've discovered you have to TRUST the PATH. No matter how rough and rocky. Nor how smooth and winding. But it's amazing how it could change. In a second! In an instant!! And you just have to deal, cope, get through it. And you can never know the ending, the destination, the outcome. How scary. How exciting. That's Life!

I never thought I could possibly now be living half the time in the place from whence we just came. I never thought I would love so much the place where I am now. I never thought a lot of things.

I trust the path. I have faith. I have optimistic hopes for the future. Why? Because it's in me to keep believing. Deep down through me. Every waking moment. Every step I take. It just is.

“Luke: I can’t believe it. Yoda: That is why you fail.”

- from Star Wars.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Purity, Balance, Passion & Strength

Guess what I figured out! My three closest friends and I were all born consecutively in 1983 - September, October, November & December!

Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and Capricorn!! How amazing!

Virgo - The Virgin -- Purity.

Libra - The Scales -- Balance.

Scorpio - The Undertaker -- Passion.

Capricorn - The Persistent -- Strength.

This makes me think of the movie, The Craft. Corny, I know. But if you remember, they were all a different direction in their witching practices. North, South, East & West. And only when they were all four together were they the most powerful. Hmmm...

Which brings up a major theme of my Life lately, BALANCE. It's incredible how important balance is to have in one's Life. One should rest as much as they work. Work as much as they play. Live as much as they love. Love as much as one lives!

"All for one, and one for all." Hehe.

I had told my friend, The Libra, how much I would love to be the women in the film How to Make an American Quilt. Women tied throughout time. There for each other no matter what. No matter what happens, what relationships, what places, what situations. Bound by an everlasting friendship. This has always been a long time goal of mine.

The Virgo, reminded me that time and distance can change people. I completely agree. But I feel that with these particular three... nothing could change so much that I would ever not want to see them or know how they are doing. That purely, I could never imagine not caring for them.

Last, but not least, The Capricorn. We met 15 years ago. We reunited strongly this year. How we've grown! And miraculously, we couldn't be more alike! I couldn't be happier with us. So although Capricorn is my newest close friend, I feel extremely blessed to have her in my life. Plus she lives right down the street!

I've never felt more lucky than to have Purity, Balance and Strength in my Life.

I am eternally grateful for each and every one of them. And hope we stay that way....

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Whine, Wine, Whine

What is it about wine that can make us divulge our secrets?

Not just alcohol. In my opinion, they're each horses of a different color. Vodka can give you energy. Gin can make you sleepy. Tequila can make you crazy.

I don't know about you, but WINE makes me open up.

To say things I would ordinarily never say. Not because I never wanted to, but just because I felt like I couldn't. It has the power to take off that shielded armor we wear everyday. It also helps if the person listening to you is drinking wine too. Chances are they will tell you things you've never heard before. It's amazing. Like truth serum. And oh so revealing....

Also, wines of different colors can make me feeeeel differently.

"Blushes" make me emotional, passionate.

"Reds" make me boisterous, rebellious.

"Whites" make me more silly.

Wines have powerful anti-oxidants, especially REDS. It's been called the "Drink of the Gods". It's use in the Bible definitely made things happen. In moderation, it's considered healthy. Too much of anything is a bad thing? Maybe. But I suppose wine's exact purpose might just be another sweet mystery of Life. To be explored again and again by enthusiasts everywhere.

"plug my piece in boys, then we can drink the wine
drink the wine, drink the wine-
music, good friends, I'm not dyin' today."

-Tori Amos

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The "M" Word

Give up? Know what I'm talking about?

Okay, okay... MARRIAGE.

Seems like this has been a HUGE topic among my little circle of friends lately. No, I'm not an expert on the subject. I've been married for almost five years. So for me, I think of our marriage like a little five year old. Walking. Talking. Potty trained. Still learning how to share.

For a while there, I had lost favor with the idea of marriage. Yes, I know... I'm a hypocrite. But it was largely based on the fact that when you're "married" there's this little piece of paper that states you will be together forever. It's just a piece of paper. If you love and are fully committed to the person you're with, why does this governmental paper hold you together more than love itself?

But after some much needed discussion on the subject... I actually do believe in marriage. And no, it's not for everyone. I completely understand that too. But it is a statement to the world. Your commitment made known. In the face of the people who agree or disagree. And it's courageous to openly say you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. All things I can believe in.

In these discussions... I've often stated that NOTHING IS FOREVER. Now this may seem like a completely negative statement. But when you really think about it, it's relatively true. This WORLD you stand on isn't forever. This BODY you live in isn't forever. This government, this society, this culture, this day... not forever. The only exception may be the "MAN UPSTAIRS", and I'm not one to refute that!

I think the exact idea of marriage is founded in the idea of forever.

Does "'til death do us part" ring a bell?

But I have begun to think of life (in my older age), as a day to day process... and my marriage as a day to day process. Not to focus all of my energy on the future at the expense of the moment. Don't get me wrong... marriage until death sounds wonderful. I think it would be an amazing feat! Mission accomplished! But I still rather think of putting all my attention on my relationship today, not what it will be years down the line....

Marriage is work. Marriage is comforting. Marriage is binding. Marriage is courageous. To be that old couple on the front porch still holding hands after decades of being together. It's enigmatic. Endearing. Magical even.

Most of my friends are married. Some a long time, but most just a few years or less.

But regardless of whether or not you are married, I say... communicate... live in the moment... and show your LOVE to your LOVE like there is no tomorrow.

Because no one can know what the "MAN UPSTAIRS" will choose to change next.

Next stop -- a five year old marriage coloring between the lines! What a thought!

Cruel, Harsh, Brutal, Dry Hollywood

A wanna be, gotta be, gonna be feature film screenwriter. That's me.

I had my first cold pitch to an agent on Thursday. Talk about a stereotypical conversation with one of Hollywood's finest. Brutal. Blunt. To the point.

"Sounds cliche." "Sounds expensive." I can soundly and quickly answer. "Yes." and "Yes."

But all factual dominance aside... what movie isn't cliche to a certain extent? What movie isn't that expensive? I've been told my entire screenwriting career... Hollywood is a clone factory. You can't be too original. It's too risky! And... movies cost millions of dollars! I don't know for any one person a couple mil was ever cheap.

So I agree with the agent. You ARE right. Okay, so now what?

"Well, I 'd still like to read it." Success. Objective complete. Then... "call me in a week."

Thank you so much for giving me the time of day from your hectic, crazed, money driven schedule to talk to an amateur like me. Yes, your excellency. Write a novel first to establish a fan base? You got it. However, I'm really a screenwriter and didn't really want to be the next J.K. Rowling, but whatever you say. Jump through a hoop of fire for your entertainment? Of course I will!!

But all kidding aside... I knew selling my first script would be exactly like this. Harsh. Painful. Rejections galore. And I'm sure as it continues, I'll just get more used to it.

The point is, it's all worth it. To be your dreams come true. Sitting on the highest cloud amidst the world of chaos below. Feeling the true meaning of success rattle through your core. Seek and you shall find. Find that person that believes in you as much as you believe in yourself.

They're out there. I can feel it.